WARNING

ANTI-CLIMATE SHIELDING DOME WARNING INITIATED

BREAKING

RABID DOLPHIN COLONY THREATENS NATO; NEGOTIATIONS SOON SAYS PRESIDENT. COMCOM TELECOMMUNICATIONS HACKED; USER DATA LIKELY LEAKED. PRESIDENT OF NEW PRUSSIA DECLARES STATE OF PANIC AS COLOR ORANGE SWEEPS EUROPE. DELIVERY TRUCKS ACROSS NATION DISAPPEAR; RANSOM NOTE FOUND IN NORTH CAROLINA. GRAND CANYON FLOODS; METHANE AND HYDROCHLORIC ACID FOUND IN WATER. KIDFLAMP TOY COMPANY RECALLS ROBOTIC TEDDY BEARS. BARRY'S PIZZA COMPANY SUED AFTER CUSTOMER FINDS MICROCHIP IN PIZZA. PAKISTANI GOVERNMENT REQUESTS TO BE REMOVED FROM MAPS; HOPES FOR STEALTHIER ATTACK POSSIBILITIES.