Obituaries - March 1, 2060
Charles Nathan McJetpack II --
Charles Nathan McJetpack II was found dead in his apartment earlier this week. His family of punctuation marks in Ohio has been contacted and the funeral has been scheduled for Monday morning. Charles McJetpack will always be remembered for his local questioning of various things within Wanapum City due to him being a question mark. Charles McJetpack was 29 years old and he was not married.
Henry Barbar Gorgunchuen --
Henry Barbar Gorgunchuen died in the Wanapum City Regional Hospital Thursday afternoon from natural causes. Henry's family, who live in the various alleyways of Wanapum City, have not been contacted due to their abnormal color and shape. We are confident that they have been made aware of Henry's death. Henry, who was 103, had seven children and fifteen grandchildren. He was known in Wanapum City for his local investments in various businesses that always failed shortly afterward.
Biltho Koolaide Memorabelia --
Biltho Koolaide Memorabelia was found on the grounds of the Wanapum City Restaurant and Blueberry Bush construction site dead by flattening. Biltho was thought to be smashed by the Kool Aid Man after years of stalking and threats due to Biltho's name. Biltho's family has been contacted and are pressing charges against the Kool Aid Man, who claims the real culprit was the Cinnamon Guy. Bilto, who was 45, was married and had two children.
Charles Nathan McJetpack II --
Charles Nathan McJetpack II was found dead in his apartment earlier this week. His family of punctuation marks in Ohio has been contacted and the funeral has been scheduled for Monday morning. Charles McJetpack will always be remembered for his local questioning of various things within Wanapum City due to him being a question mark. Charles McJetpack was 29 years old and he was not married.
Henry Barbar Gorgunchuen --
Henry Barbar Gorgunchuen died in the Wanapum City Regional Hospital Thursday afternoon from natural causes. Henry's family, who live in the various alleyways of Wanapum City, have not been contacted due to their abnormal color and shape. We are confident that they have been made aware of Henry's death. Henry, who was 103, had seven children and fifteen grandchildren. He was known in Wanapum City for his local investments in various businesses that always failed shortly afterward.
Biltho Koolaide Memorabelia --
Biltho Koolaide Memorabelia was found on the grounds of the Wanapum City Restaurant and Blueberry Bush construction site dead by flattening. Biltho was thought to be smashed by the Kool Aid Man after years of stalking and threats due to Biltho's name. Biltho's family has been contacted and are pressing charges against the Kool Aid Man, who claims the real culprit was the Cinnamon Guy. Bilto, who was 45, was married and had two children.
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